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Your Brain Might Not Have Your Back—And That's Okay

By Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) Published on
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Why is it that the things we want to do are so often the things that aren't good for us? Or, flipped around: why do we struggle to care about the things that would actually benefit us? That 2:00 AM Junior Chicken? Irresistible in the moment, but is it really what you want? Or those plans you were invited to, only for your brain to convince you that staying in, avoiding people, and scrolling in peace sounds way better? Now, let me be clear: I'm a big believer in listening to your body. But notice—I said body, not mind. Because here's the truth that hit me like a freight train recently:  Your brain doesn't always have your best interests at heart. My brain, and most of the people I speak with, love what's simple, fast, and easy. But the most meaningful moments in life are rarely any of those things.  I sometimes ask clients to close their eyes and think of their happiest memories. Nearly every time, one of two themes shows up: They were shared ...
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How To Lose Your Mind In 10 Days

By Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) Published on
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  Much like the genius plot of the 2003 chick-flick classic  How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days , many of us fall into persistent behaviours that quietly sabotage our mental health—without even realizing it. If you haven't seen the movie (first of all, don't knock it until you try it), here's a quick rundown: Kate Hudson's character sets out to document the classic mistakes women often make in early relationships—behaviours that tend to send things south. She takes things to the extreme in a hands-on "experiment" with Matthew McConaughey's character, hilariously acting out the patterns she's writing about. Honestly, if that isn't a solid pitch to go watch it, I don't know what is. Now, let's take that same concept and shift it to a mental health lens. I'm going to walk you through a handful of common behaviours that, when repeated or relied on too heavily, can slowly chip away at your well-being. These insights come from research, my work as ...
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How to Develop the Willingness to Act—and Finally Do the Things That Matter

By Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) Published on
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     How can we develop the willingness to take action and follow through on the  important  tasks in our lives? Notice that I intentionally avoided using the word "motivation" here, because I want to move away from that concept throughout this essay. Don't get me wrong—my goal is for you to feel more motivated after reading this, but there's a  bigger  issue I want to address first. Too often, I hear people say things like, "How do I get motivated to start going to the gym?" or "I just can't find the motivation to get myself to therapy." Instead of focusing on feeling motivated to do the things you're avoiding, I want to help you develop something even more powerful: the willingness to act. What's Wrong with Motivation?      We’ve all experienced those moments when we felt  totally  motivated—those times when it felt effortless to make progress on our goals. Maybe you powered through a fitness routine, devoured a book in a...
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Out with the Labels, In with the Action

By Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) Published on
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     Now more than ever, it seems like there is a label or a combination of capital letters that perfectly describes you and your unique set of challenges. You now know why you aren't living the life that everyone you see on social media "appears" to be living. Your  people-pleasing  tendencies perfectly describe why you put everyone's needs before yours, and now you've paid the price due to your altruistic nature. Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend definitely was the  avoidant type , which explains why it feels like he/she ran away whenever things felt like they were going so well. Being an  HSP  (Highly Sensitive Person) is undoubtedly why you struggle with friendships.       Psychological awareness of human behaviour has evolved tenfold since its origins. As a practicing therapist, seeing many people taking the time to explore their emotional, cognitive and psychological processes is genuinely remarkable. Often, clients come to me...
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